


Victim

by orphan_account



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, M/M, Secret Crush, Undercover, Undercover As Gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-08 20:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7772764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carisi is assigned to set a honey trap for a serial rapist, but secrets come out during the bust. </p><p>Updates every Saturday</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I deleted my old account, but now I've remade and am in the process of reposting fics. If you like this, please go on to the next chapter, and let me know if you like it! I want to continue the series if there's enough interest in it.
> 
> tumblr: bibarba  
> I take requests!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this!

Rollins and Fin’s work over the past week had produced a web of information that the lieutenant was now presenting. After a string of assaults in the East Village were investigated, the m.o. and suspect description led to a consensus that the team was working with a serial rapist. All of the attacks took place after the victim was picked up at a local gay club. The attacker, only identified by security footage and descriptions, would then bring the victim to a motel. He would photograph the assault, drug his victim, then leave.

“That’s where you come in, Carisi,” Benson gestured to the detective, “You fit the profile of his victims: light hair and eyes, tall, thin, the list goes on.”

“You’re saying I’m going to be a honey trap?”

“I’ll fill you in later.”

The task seemed simple, as Benson explained it the next evening. All he needed to do was leave the club with the suspect, follow along until he was in danger, and then let the team do their job. This would be in no way simple, though. A voice in his head reminded himself that he had never been set up as a victim before. Along with this, the team could discover that he was questioning his own identity. Of course, he knew that this was for a greater good, but personal worries clouded the reality of his duty to serve and protect.

“Carisi, are you listening?” Benson’s tone grew annoyed with Carisi’s loss of attention. “Barba is going to be here at the precinct, waiting for us to bring the perp in.”

Of course Barba was going to be here. Barba was always ready and waiting during these busts, but this instance was different. Benson’s briefing on the situation was once again overshadowed by Carisi’s wandering thoughts. Would Barba be worried about him? Would he be jealous of another man being around Carisi? Of course not, he told himself. Barba only saw the detective as a mentee in law. Carisi was too young, eager, annoying. How could someone so successful look at someone so obnoxious and develop the same schoolboy crush that Carisi couldn’t shake off?

Benson went on to explain backup plans and tips for safety to Carisi as the rest of the squad prepared for surveillance duty. As he exited the building, nerves and adrenaline flooded his veins. Driving to the club was a blur of city lights and meaningless questions with his driver.

The club greeted him with vibrating bass that he could feel from inside the car. The environment was nothing new to him, as he had been in all sorts of clubs undercover in the past. He went about his usual routine of staking out the bar and waiting to find his person of interest. Over the music, though, he didn’t notice a man take a seat at the stool next to him.

“What’s your name?”

“Dominick, you?”

“Thomas. You know, Dominick, you’re a sexy guy. Tell me who you are.”

This man was charismatic. There was no denying that he could easily take a guy home with his looks and charm. However, the wish for someone else to speak to Carisi in such an endearing way nagged at him. With every compliment, he repeated to himself how he much he wanted Barba to tell him that.

Their exchanged flowed along to the point in which Thomas asked Carisi to leave the club. His fellow detectives in vans outside prepared to follow them to a hotel. Carisi’s heart was beating like a drum in the silent car.

“Never been with a guy before?” Thomas probed, not knowing that he wouldn’t be making a victim out of the detective.

“I’ve just never been with one so,” he searched for the right word to maintain his persona, “charming.”

Years of undercover work posing as perverts and johns couldn’t have prepared Carisi for an interaction like this. His nervousness surrounding the fact that his team was listening to him flirt with a man was worsened by the knowledge of the suspect’s intentions.

Upon arrival to a motel, Thomas went on to explain his history with the place.

“I don’t want to get too personal, but I think I can connect with you, Dominick.”

“What do you mean?”

“I had an ex a long time ago,” Carisi’s brow furrowed in focus, and Thomas glanced off into space while reminiscing, “Him and I went here all the time to get away from his parents. He was a real edgy guy, a photographer.” A light bulb went off as this man’s m.o. was beginning to make sense. “He’d take pictures of me all the time here. One day I find out he’s been fucking some model on the side. Absolute shitstorm that day.” Moments went by until Thomas gazed into Carisi’s eyes, seeming sincere. “I feel like I can take back this place with you, make it what I loved before.” This comment only enhanced Carisi’s fears, instead of comfort him as most victims would.

The two arrived to a musky motel room, clearly already set up by Thomas. Carisi’s obvious shaking as he entered the room went unnoticed, while his “partner” approached a nightstand. Brandishing a rather expensive camera and smirking to himself, he beckoned the detective towards him.

“Show yourself to me. I want to know who Dominick really is.”

Carisi offered a shy smile, to the dismay of the cameraman.

“Come on! Get sexy. Show some shoulder. I’ll be seeing a lot more later,” Thomas grinned in a way that made Carisi’s stomach turn.

His obvious discomfort was evident in a slow, uneasy unbuttoning of his shirt. Thomas clearly identified this, causing him to promptly hand the camera to Carisi.

“Let me show you how it’s done.”

While Carisi awkwardly raised the camera to his face, Thomas swiftly stripped his shirt. His glancing around the room and swaying to a silent beat exuded a model-like aura. This man knew what he was doing, but the mysterious mood abruptly became insidious upon realization that Carisi wasn’t taking pictures.

“Fuck you think you’re doing? I invite you here and…” Thomas trailed off once he grabbed the camera from Carisi after he realized the man was seemingly uninterested. “You’re playing by my rules. Do you got a wife at home? A girlfriend? Another guy around?” With every question he would back Carisi further into a corner. “You little bitches always want me as some side piece to use and abuse. I’m flipping the switch. Tell me about this piece of shit you want over me.”

A million thoughts ran through the detective’s mind. The squad expected him to handle this himself, but they weren’t the ones feeling a gun through this man’s jeans. Glassy eyes were a centerpiece to a blank expression of shock that further enraged Thomas.

“Tell me, lover boy, about whoever might be so much better than me, or you’re getting this.” A shift forward, pressing the protruding gun further into Carisi’s thigh, was the only explanation necessary. “Tell me about his eyes, how he carries himself, what about him gets you off.” The man pressed his face closer to Carisi’s and reinforced dominance by pinning him to the wall.

“He’s got… green eyes,” sweat was dripping down his neck, and he was screaming to himself why Benson had said nothing over the earpiece in over five minutes.

“Go on,” Thomas whispered into his ear.

“When he buttons his jacket…it’s,” Carisi stuttered, pausing when he heard the faint sound of Benson saying his name over the earpiece.

“What turns you on about him?” Thomas lowered a hand to flash his gun as a warning. Carisi once again heard Benson shouting inaudibly for a fraction of a second.

“He… talks fast, and he-“

The doors crashed down behind a swarm of police officers, including his fellow SVU members. Thomas raised his hands to his head while slowly stepping away from the detective. Carisi’s heaving chest and glassy eyes showcased shock, and Fin swiftly escorted him to a police van. Bumps in the road, a blur of officers, and fear were all he could remember of the previous events once he arrived at the precinct. Calmly, Fin sat him down in the break room and set a cup of water next to the traumatized detective. His mind shut down, and upon discovering this Benson conferred with Barba to discuss the night.

“I just don’t know what went wrong there. We heard him just fine, but he never used his opportunity to call us in.”

“No technical issues? Nothing?” Carisi could hear Barba through the door, and remained silent. His heart raced, though, for a much more innocent reason than earlier that evening.

“Fin said the earpiece was busted, but we checked it beforehand. He’s going to live with this forever.” Benson leaned against the wall, blaming herself for the situation her detective was in.

Their conversation continued through the hallways of the precinct as they made their way to the interrogation rooms. Benson pressed the speaker button, upon which they heard Thomas’s rambling and shouting about the night’s events.

“Your bitch-ass undercover guy provoked me with all that talk about some green-eyed snarky guy he was fucking. This has gotta be a violation of my rights. Are cops just arresting gay guys hooking up now?”

“Not unless they’re rapists who threaten police officers at gunpoint,” Rollins retorted.

“We want your side of the story. That’s all we’re asking,” Fin’s attempt at relating to the attacker seemed to be effective.

“Basically, there’s this hot, young piece of ass. He’s all shy, and I’m thinking I can get lucky. I take him home, do a bit of documentation, if you get what I mean, and then he starts being a bitch. He’s mouthing off about some guy he works with that he’s in love with. I don’t know about you, but that’s a turn-off.”

“So you pull a gun on him?” Apparently Rollins didn’t agree with Fin’s approach.

Thomas became defensive once again, which allowed Barba an opportunity to mute the interrogation room speaker.

“Olivia, off the record, but what did Carisi say in that room?”

“What is this about, counselor?”

“I heard Fin and Rollins on their way in. I think you know what this is about.” Barba’s sharp gaze made sure Benson knew he wasn’t making any casual comment.

“The tapes are on my desk,” she sighed.

The evening began with Carisi’s anxiety plaguing any sense of reality he had. He had no idea of how Barba felt about him, and the same could be said about Barba in terms of his interest in Carisi. The lawyer lounged in Benson’s office, lost in a trance as he listened to the detective describe him on tape. “He has green eyes” echoed in his mind, and he pondered the implications of Carisi’s statements talking about how so many things were attractive to him. After hitting pause, Barba stood up and buttoned his jacket, just like Carisi described, and made his way to the break room.

Still trapped in shock, but finally coherent, Carisi fumbled with his cell phone for the first time that night. Following a moment of glancing at notifications, he heard the door open. Moving from his slouched position, he revealed bloodshot eyes and unusually pale skin to Barba.

“Counselor?” The word was more of a mumble than actual speech.

“I know you would prefer to call me Rafael.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of Barba's cases is coming to a close, and Carisi shows up to support. Barba takes his opportunity to ask a few questions pertaining to the traumatic night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope that you're enjoying this so far. If you like this, then please let me know so that I can continue the series. 
> 
> tumblr: bibarba  
> I take fic requests
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!

Rafael Barba paced his room in the courthouse before closing statements, meticulously studying his notes and outline. He knew that his prosecution was far stronger than the defense’s case, but from years of experience, he knew that closing statements were often key aspects leading to a guilty verdict. Though, in this instance, he was comfortably certain that he already won the case. Rapidly, a timer marched on to the same beat of his heart, leaving a looming reminder that he still had a jury to win over. A seasoned lawyer such as himself didn’t often feel this way, but this scenario was coupled with Barba’s plans outside of his case.

The timer rang, indicating that he was to file into the courtroom. While setting aside his briefcase in the adjacent chair, he noticed a detective who worked for him stride into the room. Barba hadn’t seen Carisi in a few days, due to the NYPD allowing him time off the traumatic events of a few nights ago. His eyes sank into his head, and there was an ever-present joyful trait suddenly missing. A pang in the lawyer’s chest upon realizing the pain that this man went through was interrupted by a mental reminder of his own plans. After the jury comes back and he—hopefully—will have won the case, Barba decided to invite the detective for a coffee in hopes of sparking a dialogue. There wasn’t much time to consider this, though, as the judge took her position at the stand. She called for the session to begin: this being Barba’s cue to make his statements.

One month prior, a man had beaten his wife and blackmailed her into saying nothing to the authorities. It was a kind of case that had come and gone from Barba’s desk over the years, and experience allowed him the knowledge of how to secure a guilty verdict. Moving words from the ADA encapsulated his entire case into a concise single speech. He could see in the eyes of the jury that they believed his evidence. A few nods here and there from jurors gave him confidence that he would come out of this with a verdict in his favor. Slowing as he came to a close, he broke a grip of eye contact with the jury to throw a sideways glance at Carisi, who came with other members of SVU to support him. As he uttered his final words, “she didn’t deserve this, and it will follow her for the rest of her life,” Barba’s mind flashed to mental images he created of Carisi fearing for his life at the hands of an attacker. That detective didn’t deserve what happened to him, and the remnants of that painful night lingered in melancholy he carried everywhere. As Barba rested his case and approached a chair, he remembered a realization of a few nights ago as to why he cared for this man so much, why he felt near joy upon being told that they shared an attraction, or why he wanted to see detective Carisi again as soon as he could. There was potential for something more between them, and Barba sought to find it.

The defense delivered a mess of a closing argument, and it was clear from the body language of both the jury and judge that he was nowhere near convincing them. In an entirely out-of-character move, Barba’s mind wandered off into thoughts of how he would offer the invitation to Carisi. Of course, he would say yes, but the looming need to discuss that night was almost as nerve-wracking to Barba as it would be to the man who suffered through it.

As people flooded out of the courtroom to await the jury’s decision, Barba caught that glint of blue eyes and shuffled toward Carisi.

“Detective, have a moment?”

“Of course, counselor, what’s going on?”

By now the two were among a horde of supporters crowding the courthouse lobby. With a few deep breaths, Barba calmed his nerves and took his cue to make a move.

“I think you and I both know how this verdict is going to go. Coffee after the jury comes back?”

Surprise clouded Carisi’s expression: his lips parted for just a moment while his eyes found themselves lost in the man before him. Clearing his throat and adjusting his stance, he pulled himself back down to earth after the shock of hearing a man he admired so much practically asking him on a date—at least, that was how Carisi perceived it.

“Sure, I’d be happy to.” He stumbled over the few words necessary, but the faint smirk gradually revealing itself on his face told the whole story.

Barba offered a slight nod accompanied by a smirk and wandered off to his chambers. He wasn’t sure how he felt, but excitement was the closest descriptor he could get together. Incessantly, the room’s clock ticked on for what felt like only a moment until he heard a knock on the door.

“Jury’s back,” Carisi peeked into the room only a half hour later, to the surprise of Barba. Though he knew that his case was airtight, most juries deliberated for longer than this.

Nothing mattered until the judge requested a verdict, and a man from the jury stood up, paper in hand, to deliver it.

“We find the defendant guilty.”

That was it. Weeks of work came down to one sentence, and it felt damn good to hear it. The usual “sent to Rikers pending sentencing” and shaking hands with the opposing counsel was barely a blip on Barba’s radar, merely another copy of the same story. Changing the story, though, was the man he walked out of the courthouse with, and Barba knew that he was being bold as usual. In this moment, as crisp fall air washed over the two, a secret affection would turn into something more. No words connected them just yet, but heels clicking on city sidewalks traced a destined route.

“I’m sure you know what this is about, right?”

“Actually, I’m not quite sure, counselor.” Just to himself, Carisi hoped that Barba heard about what happened a few nights ago, but the embarrassment of admitting it overpowered any bravado left in him.

“You can drop the formalities. Liv told me about your bust in the Lower East Side a couple days ago.”

“Okay… Rafael, what exactly did she say?” The anxiety surrounding Barba likely knowing the events of that night prevented Carisi from actively admitting anything. He chose the route of letting Barba make the assumptions for him to confirm or deny.

“I know it’s hard for you to talk about it right now, but I’ve heard that you said some things about me.”

Carisi threw his head back, searching for words to explain himself. There was no beating around the bush here, as Barba clearly knew what was said about him, but the “what if” questions running through his mind silenced any initiative to be frank. The coffee shop was in sight, only a block or so away, and there was so much more that needed to be said. Barba was wearing his trademark focused expression, probing Carisi’s face for any sort of response.

“Yeah, I did,” his tone fell from anxious to almost shameful.

“Sonny,” Barba lost himself in the concrete below him, gathering the nerve to ask his next question, “Do you have any sort of interest in me?”

Carisi slowed his pace, gazing into nothing, appearing entirely blank as he scanned facts through his head. Yes, he was possibly offered a date by this man. Yes, this man sought him out after hearing of Carisi’s attraction. No, Carisi wasn’t sure of himself enough to realize what these realities meant. Barba felt the same way, but his own doubts silenced him for a few moments until they crossed over to the block housing their destination.

“Can we stop here for a moment?”

They were only a few feet from the door, but Barba followed this wish. Carisi gazed at the ground for a moment, gathering courage, then shot his gaze into Barba’s eyes with intense sincerity. He couldn’t look him in his eyes, though, and opted to glance around the street in meekness.

“I’ve… been interested in you for a while. I know it’s ridiculous and all, and I get that this is gonna be awkward, but I don’t want to ruin cases or anything.” His hands found themselves in his pockets, and he locked eyes with his own shoes. “I’m really sorry.”

A light chuckle escaped Barba’s lips, and Carisi raised his head to see what the man’s reaction was.

“Sorry? Don’t be! Why do you think I invited you out here?” A genuine grin painted itself across Barba’s face: a rare sight.

Morphing expressions from confusion to disbelief to joy in just a moment, Carisi found himself putting the pieces together that didn’t fit right earlier. Barba reached toward Carisi’s shoulder and gestured to walk into the café. Warmth from within the store matched perfectly with the warmth both the men felt as so many mysteries began to make sense.

Following ordering drinks and claiming a table, they sat across from one another. Gazing into the other’s eyes for just a moment then perusing the place for something to say became a game that neither of them were aware of. Barba cleared his throat and clasped his hands together while leaning into his chair, preparing to speak.

“I can call you Sonny, right?”


End file.
